My birthparents' love

At the bottom of this post is a video taken of the kids at the orphanage. Cute!


Above are the pics from the meeting with Mom, Kevin, birthparents, Unkyung, an interpreter, and me.


Monday night I met with my mother, Kevin, birthparents, Unkyung, and an interpreter from the tour Mom and Kevin are on. The interpreter is an Caucasian woman who speaks fluent Korean after having lived in Korea for three years. She is married to a Korean man she, he, and her children speak Korean at home. She was so good that when she called my birthparents initially, they thought she was Korean.

Too much was said to repeat here, but it was enlightening and interesting. It was nice to know some things about them beforehand so most of the time could be spent talking about deeper issues. There were a couple infuriating moments (like when they refused to answer one of my questions and when my birthfather commented on my weight), and some emotional ones as well.

I think the most important thing that came out of the session was finding out how fiercely my birthparents wanted to keep me and then, years later, to find me. Their intention was apparently to take me to an orphanage so I could get the medical attention I needed. They had been told that if I did not have surgery soon, I would die. Since they couldn't afford it and since my birthmother grew up in an orphanage as well, she thought it was the best way to keep me alive. The plan was to return in two months, at which point I should be better, and "take me back." When they came back, I was gone.

They talked about the decision and all the fights the situation caused. Birthfather said they fought all the time because he was opposed to the idea of giving me up. He said that if there was a chance I might die anyway, even after surgery, it was better to let me die with them. Now knowing how stubborn my birthfather can be, I see that my birthmother really had to fight to save me.

Apparently they spent a few years trying to find out what happened to me. They found out which adoption agency handled my adoption and, for lack of a better word, harassed them (via my birthmother's sister who lived in Seoul). Finally, they decided that they needed to move to Seoul to increase the chances of finding out about me (that's where the agency was located).

What hit me then was the realization that, though I've had so many differences with my birthparents so far, I have the opportunity that many adoptees whish they had. I can have my questions answered. I CAN say, "Boy, my birthparents are really getting on my nerves," or, "My birthfather is so demanding!" It's something that I never thought I'd have, even after the years of letters and phone calls with them.

Last note: This also reminded me how sweet and amazing Unkyung is. She has done so much for me and thinks about others all the time. I tend to be a "people pleaser," but she does everything with such genuine good intentions that it's inspiring. I'm hoping to do a little good as well by visiting them more often (at their request) and volunteering at the orphanage I visited this week with Mom and Kevin.