My birthparents' love

At the bottom of this post is a video taken of the kids at the orphanage. Cute!


Above are the pics from the meeting with Mom, Kevin, birthparents, Unkyung, an interpreter, and me.


Monday night I met with my mother, Kevin, birthparents, Unkyung, and an interpreter from the tour Mom and Kevin are on. The interpreter is an Caucasian woman who speaks fluent Korean after having lived in Korea for three years. She is married to a Korean man she, he, and her children speak Korean at home. She was so good that when she called my birthparents initially, they thought she was Korean.

Too much was said to repeat here, but it was enlightening and interesting. It was nice to know some things about them beforehand so most of the time could be spent talking about deeper issues. There were a couple infuriating moments (like when they refused to answer one of my questions and when my birthfather commented on my weight), and some emotional ones as well.

I think the most important thing that came out of the session was finding out how fiercely my birthparents wanted to keep me and then, years later, to find me. Their intention was apparently to take me to an orphanage so I could get the medical attention I needed. They had been told that if I did not have surgery soon, I would die. Since they couldn't afford it and since my birthmother grew up in an orphanage as well, she thought it was the best way to keep me alive. The plan was to return in two months, at which point I should be better, and "take me back." When they came back, I was gone.

They talked about the decision and all the fights the situation caused. Birthfather said they fought all the time because he was opposed to the idea of giving me up. He said that if there was a chance I might die anyway, even after surgery, it was better to let me die with them. Now knowing how stubborn my birthfather can be, I see that my birthmother really had to fight to save me.

Apparently they spent a few years trying to find out what happened to me. They found out which adoption agency handled my adoption and, for lack of a better word, harassed them (via my birthmother's sister who lived in Seoul). Finally, they decided that they needed to move to Seoul to increase the chances of finding out about me (that's where the agency was located).

What hit me then was the realization that, though I've had so many differences with my birthparents so far, I have the opportunity that many adoptees whish they had. I can have my questions answered. I CAN say, "Boy, my birthparents are really getting on my nerves," or, "My birthfather is so demanding!" It's something that I never thought I'd have, even after the years of letters and phone calls with them.

Last note: This also reminded me how sweet and amazing Unkyung is. She has done so much for me and thinks about others all the time. I tend to be a "people pleaser," but she does everything with such genuine good intentions that it's inspiring. I'm hoping to do a little good as well by visiting them more often (at their request) and volunteering at the orphanage I visited this week with Mom and Kevin.

Quick update

Well Mom is here and I've been taking some great pictures. I'll talk more about her trip when I can get the pics up, but lately I've been pretty busy getting up in the mornings to spend time with her before I go to work until 10PM. Overall it's been great and their hotel is so swanky and modern and beautiful that I almost spent the night! Unfortunately, it only has one king sized bed and I wasn't sold on spending the night in the same bed with my mom and Kevin (no offense, guys!).

I have good classes so far, but there is one class that is driving me nuts. The class is filled with older children. They aren't quite middle school aged, but just on the cusp and full of attitude. They won't listen to me, talk while I'm talking, won't stop speaking Korean, and won't follow directions. There are three students who provide the most stress and they flat out don't care. I've tried being calm and stern, giving them punishments (extra homework), and rearranging their seating so they wouldn't be right next to their friends. Nothing has worked. I think it's this age because the class I had last semester in this age range was just as bad. Well, maybe not quite as bad....but close.

Well, I'm off to bed....Mom and Kevin and I stopped in at a casino attached to the hotel and played the slots. It was fun and we had a lot of laughs. They leave tomorrow to begin their tour. They will still be in Seoul quite a bit, but in an entirely different area.

Will post pics and details later!

Tids and Bits

Well my mother is arriving in a couple hours and I am waiting for Unkyung to pick me up. It sounds already like my birthfamily has plans laid out, regardless of what my parents want or not, but I think they anticipated that happening.

I forgot, the other day, when I was writing about my classes to write about one incident. We were playing stop the bus where I outline categories and give them a letter. They are then to come up with a word that starts with that letter for each category, such as "country," "animal," "food," and "name." These were the categories the other day. The letter: "R." A student's hand shot up and she looked pretty proud. She listed, "Romania, Rabbit, Radish...." and for the name........
"Raura K. English!" She looked so triumphant that I hated to break it to her that it's Laura with an "L." I mean, my name is even spelled out on the classroom door!

I had an interesting lunch with Unkyung. For some reason I had always assumed my grandmother's lack of leg was due to a health condition such as diabetes. Really it happened when she was walking with my sisters, my little sister strapped to her back and Unkyung holding her hand. For whatever reason, either she didn't see or look or the driver wasn't looking, the truck ran over her. That is how she lost her leg. It really puts the incident at the airport (when I first fot here and she fell into the street) in perspective. That must have been horrible....

I hear Unnkyung coming up the steps to my apartment now...so now I'll leave and go pick Mom and Kevin up from the airport. Exciting! Can't wait! Camera in my purse.

I have Obama in my class

So one of my students today decided he wanted to change his English name from Ian to Obama (the Koreans LOVE Obama, if I haven't mentioned it before). I named yet another student Eminem (a rapper, for those of you who may not know). It's funny the names these children will choose. The names I come up with are usually good. I came up with Obama (he thought it over for a week before deciding he liked it), Eminem, Spike, and JFK Jr. (who decided to shorten it to "Junior").

But the normal names these children choose are absurd to me. It seems Koreans like the most hideous of English/western names. Ida, Esther, and Harry are names that appeal to some of these young students. There are some normal ones. For instance, I have half a dozen kids named Sarah, Jenny, Kelly, or Amy. And there is one, lone Laura. No, it was not me (I?) who named her that. It seems so fitting. She is a cute, quiet, chubby girl who gets good grades and is not popular with the other students. Fitting.

One of my kids, Brian, has been swearing a lot. Not the worst words, but only the ones that have religious roots. He was watching me play Minesweeper, the game on Microsoft Windows where you have to flag the mines and avoid being "blown up." He was watching intently as I played, his breath HEAVY with seafood, whispering, "Be careful, Teacher! Be careful...." each time he thought I was near a "bomb." Then, when I hit it, he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!" He's not one of my high level students. In fact, his class is the lowest level I have taught so far. Some may not consider it a swear word, but the by the time he was on "Jesus Christ!" number three, it started irritating me. He also says, "Damn it!" and "Oh my God!" and "Hell" (the last one is usually used when referring to the amount of writing he has to do in class). He is adorable and the words shock me each time he uses them. I've explained to him that they are not nice phrases to use, but that may have egged him on. Next time, I'll think of a long sentence for him to write 20 times. Seeing as how he thinks writing is "Hell," that should stop the stream of religiously-based profanity.

I have just completed day nine of my ten-day work week (to make up for the days missed during quarantine).

And only two more days until my mom gets here!

Barbecue on the rooftop

I named one of my students Eminem. He had only his Korean name and I wanted to give him a different one. The students voted on "Alex," which I quickly vetoed. I gave him several options, which were all rappers' stage names (except Barack). Since Eminem was easiest to say, he chose that one. My day went pretty well except for the disconcerting eyebrow wriggling one of my students aimed in my direction.

No pics of the barbecue....sorry. But a coworker of mine invited some of the teachers to a barbecue on her boyfriend's rooftop. He'd purchased a small grill and wanted to have a get-together. He's a teacher at a different CDI branch. It was a lot of fun. People from his branch and ours came and enjoyed bratwurst, burgers, beer, and some pecan crusted cinnamon buns. Yum! The gathering reminded me of home and it was nice.

On the way home I asked a coworker what he thought of Korean girls going to English academies. After all, a Korean magazine advised women to spend 30% of their income on looking good with the reasoning that catching a good husband is the best investment a woman can make. As I've said in past blogs, this attitude seems rampant in this country. But then why, I wondered, do parents send their daughters to high priced English schools? Could it be that they are becoming more progressive and want their daughters to have successful careers of their own someday? Or is it because a well educated man will be more likely to desire a well educated woman?

Although my coworker didn't have an answer for me, he did say that he wouldn't be surprised if the byproduct is a new generation of Korean girls lusting after American or western men. They go to these academies and develop crushes on their American male teachers and flirt shamelessly with them in the hopes of, in his words, "possibly validation?" He's been the object of quite a few girls' affections in the past nine months.

That's all I have to say about that. Would have been a good day if I didn't have to work tomorrow (Sunday) too.

It's 2AM

Is it wrong to be so infuriated by the fact that my birthmother called me twice at this hour? Midnight is perhaps understandable. But at this time? I have to work in the morning and am trying to sleep. But even if I did not have to work in the morning, isn't it just, well, selfish? We can't have a real conversation....she only wants to hear my voice. So in order to hear it, she feels she has the right to call me at whatever time she wishes.

I realize they are paying for the cell bill, but I never asked them to do that. In fact, I tried to dissuade them, knowing it was a way of ensuring that I feel indebted. Even if they didn't consciously intend to do so, they have and it's hard to believe it was completely unintentional. Especially in light of their late-night phone calls.

I realize that she and my birthfather get drunk and that that is the reason she calls so late, but while I felt their drinking made them more fun before, it makes them seem a little sad now. This may be a bitter, overdramatized outlook as a result of being sleep deprived and grumpy....but it's my rant and how I'm feeling at 2AM. Now I must go to sleep so I can wake up for work in the morning. Hope I don't get another call. But then again, I've put my phone on silent.

Stephanie pictures and semester news

Above are pics of Stephanie being more adventurous with food than she's used to. This is a girl who won't eat pretzels. PRETZELS! Not even ones covered in CHOCOLATE. But she was a trooper and tried, and even liked, all the Korean cuisine. The last pic above is of two guys who were hitting on Stephanie and another teacher who was eating dinner with us. We were enjoying BBQ when they came up and started hitting on them. They LOVE blond girls here and Stephanie was a HOT commodity. The three of us agreed to play some pool with these two guys for a laugh. And so many laughs ensued. The guys were full of odd tendencies, including the tendency to get a little violent when someone on his team missed a shot (the one on the right--Stephanie's team). We quickly ditched them after the game.




Pictured above are: Neng Myung, a cold noodle dish that is mildly spicy. It's made with buckwheat noodles and vegetables and is popular during the summer. The next pic is of the local market, the one owned by the couple who I adore (and who Stephanie grew to adore as well). The third picture is of the market in Insadong where there are many antiques and traditional Korean art pieces. The last pic is my dryer. Yes, that's my clothes dryer. Enough said.

Today was the third day of the summer quarter at CDI. Yesterday's 4PM class was fine and, since they were younger, they thought all my lame jokes were absolutely hysterical. We're told to introduce ourselves and tell a little about ourselves, so I informed them that I'm 65 years old and have two children, ages 20 and 17. One said I look great for my age....about 40. For anyone unaware...I am 25. I also told them that before CDI I was in the US Army.

In my second class yesterday, I had all 6th graders with major attitudes. And when I told one to stop speaking Korean, he cursed at me....in Korean. He also refused to do a part of the classwork because he claimed the last teacher hadn't made him do it. I believed this since that particular teacher is known for being laid back....very, very laid back with his requirements. I told him this was my class and he had to. He refused. Later a friend tossed an eraser at him, which hit him right in the crotch. He bent over in pain and I asked if he was okay, but silently acknowledged the karma at work.

My favorite student in the class is a few years younger than the rest of them. His name is Anthony, but the other teachers call him Bulldog because, well, he looks like a bulldog. Chubby, cute, and good natured and with an odd=shaped head. His hand shot up eagerly each time I asked for a volunteer. If I didn't pick him, he looked brokenhearted. I quickly began to see why the other teachers adore him.

Today I had another young elementary school class and then....................middle school. It wasn't as bad as last quarter's first day, but I was glad when class was over. There were a few kids who spoke up and volunteered after a little coaxing. One has an Australian accent, and she keeps saying "reckon" which cracks me up. She's a bit of a brown noser, but I love brown nosers. They make my job easier.

The only other semi-but-not-really-noteworthy news is that I have to work through the weekend to make up for the two days missed this week because of the swine flu scare. Hopefully it won't be too painful and, I keep reminding myself that next weekend my mom will be here!

North Korea topic

I few moments ago I heard a loud explosion and children screaming.

But this time, it's not North Korea. It's storming outside, complete with loud explosions of thunder, and little children are outside playing in the rain, squeeling and screaming as they splash through puddles.

I had a request to update the blog on the feelings about North Korea over here. I really don't hear much about it except from people back home (Columbus) about it. But here are some of the thoughts:

Potential travelers- A letter sent out to my parents from the group leading their tour in Korea stated that the US Embassy has not issued any travel warnings for those entering South Korea. It also said that the situation seems more volatile for those who are "just now" paying attention than for those who have had their ear to the ground for longer. The letter basically said that it's no more dangerous today than it was six months ago or a year ago.

Teachers- Most are not worried and feel that Kim Jong Il (KJI) is all talk. There are some, like myself, who have heard rumors about his failing health and are somewhat worried that he'll go for it. It seems he's been wanting to nuke South Korea for a while. And while it would not be a smart move on his part since the US would come to defend S.Korea, he could be going for a last Hail Mary move with the reasoning that he won't have to deal with the consequences (because he'd be dead). That may be an extreme point of view and not one largely shared, but "sane" is not one of the more common attributed characteristics of KJI. But most teachers agree that it would be a stupid move on his part and that he knows this. If he were to bomb South Korea, he'd also be bombing many American citizens, not to mention citizens hailing from many other countries. And we have a strong presence in South Korea (the military). The most common opinion is that North Korea would be in huge trouble and they know it. So most teachers are more worried about getting paid for their "forced" vacation (or "swine flu vacation) than KJI.

My sister- Unkyung says she isn't any more worried now than she was before. She says she thinks that North Korea is just talking and threatening as a kind of trantrum. "They are like babies," she said. "They say 'Help us, help us! Give us food! Give us Help' but now we don't give help." Then she described how the former S.Korean president gave in to these pleas for help and said that the new president, Lee Myubng-bak, has decided to stop giving aid to the North Koreans. That is why, she says, North Korea is so intent on threatening the lives of South Koreans. But again, she doesn't seem too worried.

More random pics

Above: Unsun, her boyfriend, and her friends. The third is Unkyung and her ex-boyfriend.



Not a swastika but a sun sign...remember, to make the swastika they inverted the sun sign, which is older than the Nazi party. These are everywhere in Korea.



Some pictures of a night out to celebrate one of the teacher's last days. His Korean girlfriend is pictured first, then a few fellow teachers (and one of Al and me).



Pictures of and from Technomart



Al's first night here at Outback Steakhouse with Unsun and her boyfriend and Unkyung

Quick recap of last night: Unkyung invited me out for a drink with her ex and her. It was a little uncomfortable as he sat their with a frown and said nothing. Unkyung would put her arm around him, clearly trying to be affectionate. But he didn't seem to respond. I didn't like him. He apparently has a girlfriend. Again, I wasn't fond of him.

All through the evening, Birthmother called again and again and again. She called nearly 12 times. She used the video call feature to show me that she and my birthfather were at a Noraebang singing and drunk. My birthfather's voice was cringeworthy, but he belted out the Korean song with passion. But after a while, Unkyung was just as annoyed as I was and grabbed my phone and sent the calls to voicemail each time.

Unsun showed up and I was glad. She and her boyfriend are fun to talk with and make me laugh. The other guy was his friend and his girlfriend was there as well. I gave each one of them an English name. Unsun is Angelina Jolie, her boyfriend is Brad Pitt, the other girl was Cameron Diaz (it took a while to find a celebrity she knew), and her boyfriend was Johnny Depp. They loved their new names.

After everyone, including Unsun's boyfriend, left Unsun, Unkyung and I walked together. They insisted they walk me home because it was late. I tried to explain that I walk home late every night from school, but they wouldn't hear of it. I hailed a cab for them and sent them on their way once we got near my home. Not a bad night, but not planning on doing it every evening.