Some cultural differences between us

So once again, after being told that TUESDAY would be an "off-day" for my birthfamily's restaurant, I was called at 10:30AM and told to be ready to be picked up for a family outing in 30 minutes. As everyone already knows, I am not a morning person, especially having been up until 4AM watching movies. When later went outside to meet them, the entire family (except Unsun who had to work) was packed in the car with my birthfather standing outside, arms outstretched.

I was told we'd go have lunch and shop in an area called Namdaemun. Apparently it's a pretty well known area because there were loads of foreigners. I saw Americans, Africans, other Asians (Chinese and Cambodian), and Eurpoeans. Unfortunately I left my camera at the house as I wasn't aware we were going to such a hot spot.

When we arrived in the area, we found a traditional Korean restaurant for lunch. When all our food came, I ate politely, all the while feeling that the food was subpar. And this coming from someone who isn't wild about Korean cuisine in the first place. Birthfather plopped a piece of something from his bowl into mine and gestured for me to try it. I asked what it was and received no answer. After a few more times, Unkyung admitted it was blood. It was solid after having been cooked and almost looked like dark red/brownish tofu....but it was just cow's blood. I looked at Unkyung and, very earnestly, said "No way." She laughed. Later, I still couldn't get over it (the smell was awful) and kept saying, "I can't believe you almost let me eat cow blood!" She laughed.

When Birthfather started pouring rice wine, I decided to partake since I don't work today and I've been putting him off for a while when alcohol is concerned. We clinked metal cups, which were more like bowls, they said, "Bravo!" and I said, "Cheers!", and I took a SIP (as a westerner normally does). They proceeded to literally chug the entire thing and order another bottle. It was later revealed to me that Birthfather had also polished off some Soju before he'd left the house.

An interesting topic came up when I brought up my mother's and stepfather's visit, which is in less than two weeks. As Unkyung explained some things to her parents, I heard her say "Chin Apa." I recognize "Apa" as the Korean word for "Dad" and was wondering what the "chin" meant. When I asked, she said it meant "new father." I guess that's their word for stepfather. Unkyung explained that even though she knew my parents were divorced, she was shocked when she came to America (ten years ago) and heard me call my stepfather by his first name. I asked her what she expected me to call him and she replied, "Daddy."

Apparently in Korea, when a mother marries a new man, he is considered the "new father" and the children call him "Apa" in his presence. When I asked what the actual father is then called, she told me he is just "Apa." So new father and father. I laughed and reminded her that my dad is coming in September and told her, "Don't say that to him." (Although I guess he is probably reading this here so he already knows. Sorry, Dad! Just reporting the facts.) She laughed and agreed, understanding the cultural difference we'd discovered.

After lunch we walked around and looked for anything that might appeal to me. I was honestly not in the mood for shopping, especially considering that sizes run super small in this country. I have gained about four pounds from what I'd originally lost coming here, and it did not go unnoticed by my birthfather, who reminded me, "Man like thin. Not big." He also made a comment about my arm (I was sleeveless) and that it was fat. It really got on my nerves and when I told Unkyung, she understood. To make matters worse, he was insistent upon purchasing some clothes for me, but all the sizes were too small. This enrages me when I'm in Ohio and being in Korea did nothing to improve the situation (that and my birthfather's occasional comments). On the way home, he mentioned my arm again and at that point, I patted his hand gently, smiled, and then put my finger to my lips saying, "Shhhhhhhhhh." I smiled as sweetly as I could to hide the fact that I was politely telling him to shut up. I said, "No more fat talk, Apa." He nodded, grinned, and remained silent.

One thing I noted was that, as I have said before, my birthparents seem to be very fond of each other. They joke with each other, gaze at each other lovingly, and hold arms and hands a lot. They sometimes even feed each other. At one point my birthmother fell asleep in the car and, upon noticing her mouth was open, Birthfather stretched a finger toward her mouth and tapped her lip, waking her. They both giggled. It's kind of cute.

For a while, when we went off to look for a shirt that would actually fit me, we left Grandma in her wheelchair near the entrance of the mall. I stopped them, asking, "What about Grandma?" They turned and walked back to her for a moment, said something to her, then tugged me away. Apparently it was too much work to push her through this mall (which was similar in layout to the outdoor market). It still made me a little upset. Why should she have to just sit in one place all alone? Did she enjoy that? I did not see the kind of respect for their elders that Koreans are known to have. Since I don't know the family dynamic or what she likes or doesn't like, I couldn't really comment on it. But it remained in the back of my mind until we returned to her, at which point she demanded to know, "Why did you take so long?"

That's all for now! I forgot the camera but took some cell phone pics. Hopefully I can figure out how to get them on here.