What's my name?

My birthmother still calls me frequently, although not as much as she did when I first arrived. In fact, she called just a moment ago and the conversation is always the same. She says she misses me and that she loves me, both in Korean and in English, and also asks when she will see me next.

Today she threw in another twist. She asked me what my name is. I didn't understand her since it was in Korean, but she prompted me to answer, "Jung, Sunkyung." She waited and repeated my Korean name again, but I kept my lips shut. I simply did not want to give in, as if saying it would encourage them to think of me as Sunkyung. I am Laura. I haven't been Sunkyung for twenty four years. I think calling them "mother" and "father" (in Korean only, of course), should be enough.

Sunkyung is the daughter of Hyeja Kim and Whatever-his-name-is Jung (it's not a simple name to remember and they don't encourage me to call him that). To me, Sunkyung is a chubby girl who works in her parents' restaurant and goes home at night alone to drink and commiserate with her twin sister, Unkyung. Sunkyung wishes for more but knows she is bound to her family and that her only way out is to find a good man. But men aren't really knocking down her door as she isn't as thin as the rest of the girls in the city. She is obedient and rebels only in her head. After all, how would she really rebel in a city or country like this without being branded a "bad girl" (as Unkyung and other Koreans term it). She is the kind of girl who doesn't have time for a social life and spends most of her time with her parents.

Laura, on the other hand, is a reasonably educated young woman who has her own apartment and pays her own bills. She has several career options available to her and her future is uncertain but open. She's confident and is simply not quite ready for a serious romantic relationship. It won't be until after her career is settled and she's bought her own home that she'll be ready to think about marriage. From time to time, Laura rebels, gets it out of her system, and counts her blessings for having so many understanding and loving people around to support her in all her choices. And she was wonderful friends who would fly across an ocean to visit her.

Which would you rather be?

(By the way, I will post about Al's fun week-long visit after I get some of his pictures so I can post them too.)