Here's a retelling of my night last night (Saturday):
I was supposed to go to a party Saturday night where my friend from training was going to be. I debated not going several times that evening, before sucking it up and getting in a cab. After all, I had canceled on her last night and didn't want to let her down again. So I dialed her friend who speaks Korean, who told the cab driver which subway station to drop me at so they could meet me there. Apparently the subway stop was very close to the party.
Ten thousand won later, he stopped the car and held his hand out for his fee. I paid it, got out of the car, and watched him speed away as I slowly began to realize that I had no idea where the subway station was from where I was sitting. So for the next hour, I wandered around this piece of freeway lined by closed shops. No one spoke English and others, when I asked, just looked disgusted and turned their heads from me. Each time I called my friend for help, they were all drunk and a bit annoyed that I was lost. No help there.
Finally I found my way to Itaewon where there are a lot of foreigners who speak English. One guy was kind enough to walk me damn near all the way to where I needed to be. At this point I had been walking around for two hours. It turns out, the cab driver dropped me about two and a half miles from my destination. It was a pretty straight shot (after I discovered which direction to go).
When I finally reached the party at nearly 2AM. It was so crowded I could barely move, and my friend (who was obviously not having my problem with shyness) was sitting on her new boyfriend's lap, drunk and giving him kisses. She gave me a hug, and that was the last I spoke to her. Eventually, I picked my purse up, put my shoes on, and hopped a cab home (but not before I stopped for some McDonald's fries). And this time, I knew exactly where I was going.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Observations and Venting
Let's start with my observations of the Korean people....
1.) Korean men (mostly young men) seem to LOVE to wear their hair kind of shaggy and long. I don't understand this look because it looks, well, shaggy. Maybe it's because they want to show off how luscious, shiny, and thick their hair is.
2.) Korean people seem to prefer to baby their children. I don't mean that they spoil them, because they expect a lot out of academically. But when I was at the restaurant today, I noticed a few Korean children getting their food fed to them by their parents or grandparents. Some as old as about nine. In contrast, American parents seem to always encourage their children to grow up and be independent. Like in a restaurant, they might say, "Joey, why don't you tell the waiter what you want like a big boy?" or "Good job, Jenny! You used your form and knife to cut your chicken like a big girl!"
3.) Koreans, while in America are known to have good skin in general, seem to have skin problems here. There is a LOT of acne around Seoul. A coworker of mine said that since being here, her complexion has become horrible because of all the stuff in the air. I fear for my skin when Spring comes and, with it, the Yellow Dust. If you don't know about yellow dust, look it up on wikipedia.
4.) They seem to be more "okay" with picking their noses. I haven't really seen them dig in a nostril but good....but I have seen more than my fair share swipe at the inside of their nostril with their fingertip. They don't try to hide it, though, which is why it makes me think this is acceptable. Ew.
Okay, next we'll move on to venting.
Teaching has improved. At first my classes were incredibly shy and it annoyed me. Even when I called on them, they looked at me with dead expressions and remained silent. A couple are "troublemakers," but at least they don't threaten to beat me like the students in the Columbus Public school system. Korean children definitely have more respect for their elders. And they think I'm SUPER old. I'm starting to believe them.
But the loneliness has yet to improve. And, as I may have mentioned before, the more suffocated I feel by my birth family, the more isolated I feel. For instance, this morning I was "summoned" to the restaurant. What happens is that they feed me WAY TOO MUCH food, and then ask me to just sit in a chair by Grandmother while they work. Just sit. For hours at a time. At one point, my birth mother came up to me and said that she knows this is boring for me, but she loves it. I had a slight urge to pinch her (as Unkyung frequently does). And because my birth father stays in the kitchen and can't always see over the divider, he sometimes can't see where I am and asks, "Where is Laura? I can't see her!" Actually, they all call me by my Korean name, Sunkyung.
Unkyung seems sympathetic, although I don't think she truly understands how I feel. She assured me that they would ease up after a while. When we got ready to leave and Birth Mother asked if I would come again tomorrow, she spoke to her sharply. "Unkyung angry!" Birth Mother told me. I know Unkyung is trying to help. And her English is pretty good. Unfortunately, it's not good enough to allow me to really tell her how I feel about this situation. I love that they care for me so much and I appreciate everything they try to do for me (they want to buy me a couch/bed combo for when I have visitors at my apartment). But this constant need to just look at me is wearing on me to the point where it feels inconsiderate and, well, selfish.
How can they possibly feel it's okay to expect me to just sit at the restaurant for hours doing nothing as if I'm their personal Korean-American statue? And their insistence on seeing me isolates me more from the rest of the English teachers because, while they're out having dinner and going to bars, I'm at the restaurant staring at Korean people.
I know I said I wanted to spend a lot of time with my birth family so I can learn how to speak Korean better, but I didn't mean ONLY them. And it's quickly turning into that. I find myself lying to them about my plans in order to escape. I have been trying to find a free interpreter because, curiously, none of them are giving up information for me to contact the woman who was with them at the airport.
That's all for now. I took more pics and video that I'll post later.
1.) Korean men (mostly young men) seem to LOVE to wear their hair kind of shaggy and long. I don't understand this look because it looks, well, shaggy. Maybe it's because they want to show off how luscious, shiny, and thick their hair is.
2.) Korean people seem to prefer to baby their children. I don't mean that they spoil them, because they expect a lot out of academically. But when I was at the restaurant today, I noticed a few Korean children getting their food fed to them by their parents or grandparents. Some as old as about nine. In contrast, American parents seem to always encourage their children to grow up and be independent. Like in a restaurant, they might say, "Joey, why don't you tell the waiter what you want like a big boy?" or "Good job, Jenny! You used your form and knife to cut your chicken like a big girl!"
3.) Koreans, while in America are known to have good skin in general, seem to have skin problems here. There is a LOT of acne around Seoul. A coworker of mine said that since being here, her complexion has become horrible because of all the stuff in the air. I fear for my skin when Spring comes and, with it, the Yellow Dust. If you don't know about yellow dust, look it up on wikipedia.
4.) They seem to be more "okay" with picking their noses. I haven't really seen them dig in a nostril but good....but I have seen more than my fair share swipe at the inside of their nostril with their fingertip. They don't try to hide it, though, which is why it makes me think this is acceptable. Ew.
Okay, next we'll move on to venting.
Teaching has improved. At first my classes were incredibly shy and it annoyed me. Even when I called on them, they looked at me with dead expressions and remained silent. A couple are "troublemakers," but at least they don't threaten to beat me like the students in the Columbus Public school system. Korean children definitely have more respect for their elders. And they think I'm SUPER old. I'm starting to believe them.
But the loneliness has yet to improve. And, as I may have mentioned before, the more suffocated I feel by my birth family, the more isolated I feel. For instance, this morning I was "summoned" to the restaurant. What happens is that they feed me WAY TOO MUCH food, and then ask me to just sit in a chair by Grandmother while they work. Just sit. For hours at a time. At one point, my birth mother came up to me and said that she knows this is boring for me, but she loves it. I had a slight urge to pinch her (as Unkyung frequently does). And because my birth father stays in the kitchen and can't always see over the divider, he sometimes can't see where I am and asks, "Where is Laura? I can't see her!" Actually, they all call me by my Korean name, Sunkyung.
Unkyung seems sympathetic, although I don't think she truly understands how I feel. She assured me that they would ease up after a while. When we got ready to leave and Birth Mother asked if I would come again tomorrow, she spoke to her sharply. "Unkyung angry!" Birth Mother told me. I know Unkyung is trying to help. And her English is pretty good. Unfortunately, it's not good enough to allow me to really tell her how I feel about this situation. I love that they care for me so much and I appreciate everything they try to do for me (they want to buy me a couch/bed combo for when I have visitors at my apartment). But this constant need to just look at me is wearing on me to the point where it feels inconsiderate and, well, selfish.
How can they possibly feel it's okay to expect me to just sit at the restaurant for hours doing nothing as if I'm their personal Korean-American statue? And their insistence on seeing me isolates me more from the rest of the English teachers because, while they're out having dinner and going to bars, I'm at the restaurant staring at Korean people.
I know I said I wanted to spend a lot of time with my birth family so I can learn how to speak Korean better, but I didn't mean ONLY them. And it's quickly turning into that. I find myself lying to them about my plans in order to escape. I have been trying to find a free interpreter because, curiously, none of them are giving up information for me to contact the woman who was with them at the airport.
That's all for now. I took more pics and video that I'll post later.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Random pics
K
These pictures are a bit random. The top picture is of my training group at the coffee shop.
First one below is Unkyung at the restaurant. Second and third ones are the signs for my parents' restaurant. Third one is a picture of a photo posted on the restaurant's door of my birth mother and a famous Korean celebrity (not sure who, but she also had another with a famous Korean comedian). Then there are three pics of my classroom (one with some actual students in it). The last pictures are of a bar I went to last Saturday. The plate of nasty bar food is some kind of squid or octopus or something. Gross.
The video is of the horrible band that played at one of the bars. Last video takes place in the restaurant.
These pictures are a bit random. The top picture is of my training group at the coffee shop.
First one below is Unkyung at the restaurant. Second and third ones are the signs for my parents' restaurant. Third one is a picture of a photo posted on the restaurant's door of my birth mother and a famous Korean celebrity (not sure who, but she also had another with a famous Korean comedian). Then there are three pics of my classroom (one with some actual students in it). The last pictures are of a bar I went to last Saturday. The plate of nasty bar food is some kind of squid or octopus or something. Gross.
The video is of the horrible band that played at one of the bars. Last video takes place in the restaurant.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Wake-Up Call
After work today I will get some batteries so I can post more pictures.
Anyway.....
I stayed up late last night watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother on DVD. It made me feel better since it was a dose of home that allowed me to forget that, at the moment, I feel pretty lost in translation. Even with my own coworkers. The other English teachers have been extremely kind, but I constantly find myself feeling shy and awkward. I end up making corny jokes that come off sounding either stupid or creepy. I just don't feel at all like myself around them. Although I have to remember that I felt the same way when I first began working at the credit union. I just need to find my comfort zone. But it has yet to happen and I've been feeling isolated and a little lonely, despite the smothering I get from my birth family.
This morning I intended to sleep in because my class doesn't begin until 4PM and I don't have as much prep work to do as today I'll have only one class learning the same lesson I taught the previous two days. But instead of sleeping in, I awoke to a phone call from Unkyung. I contemplated ignoring it for a second, but then realized that doing so would prompt an unannounced visit from the b-parents.
"My father want you come our home," she said, after apologizing for waking me.
"When?"
"Now."
I have yet to figure out how to deal with this situation. I was grumpy (not a morning person, as many of you already know) and annoyed. Apparently the restaurant was closed for the day. They close the restaurant once a week on any given day, depending on how tired either my birth mother is or birth father is. It's like a "mental health day," as my mom calls it. Even though I realized this, the expectation that I change all my plans (not that they were many) at the drop of a hat nearly enraged me. My reaction was exaggerated because I was tired, but I couldn't help but feel the whole situation dripped of selfishness. But what can I say? They insist on buying me things all the time (which, quite honestly, makes me uncomfortable) so I don't feel I can refuse.
Unkyung and Unsun were at my apartment twenty minutes later. When we arrived at my birth family's home, my birth mother came to hug me and soon my birth father joined in. It was one big trio-hug. When we sat down, my birth father sat beside me and held my hand and asked me if I was happy. I wanted to say, "Actually, I'm really tired and if I had known YESTERDAY that I'd be called upon, I would have gone to bed earlier. But since no one considered that, I am very tired." Instead, I said, "Yes, I am very happy." To which he replied, "Happy? Happy! Happy! Happy!" Birth mother began to laugh at that point, handing him a plate of spam.
During breakfast my birth father downed a full bottle of Soju. For those who don't know, Soju normally comes in a green bottle roughly the size of a 12 oz. bottle of beer. Except Soju is more like grocery store liquor. It contains about 20-something per cent alcohol. After downing the bottle, Birth Father quickly became more affectionate. He talked about when he was in a medically induced coma and how his main thought was that he'd never get to see me again. He'd make a couple comments that prompted some laughs, but only from Birth Mother. Unkyung and Unsun looked on, their facing showing embarassment and impatience. At one point, Grandmother smacked his leg and told him to "take it easy!" He ignored her and continued to talk and press his cheek against mine. He also felt it necessary to mention that I'm the best out of all his daughters. And, of course, that when we were born I was a beautiful baby but Unkyung was an ugly one. These comments made me nervous and uncomfortable. He spoke a few words in English as well, letting me know that his goal was to be able to talk to and thank my parents in English when they come and visit Korea.
From what I can tell, my birth parents seem to be very fond of each other. My birth mother showed her wedding picture with pride and always laughs at my birth father's jokes. She gazed at him with a soft, affectionate look as he alternately held my hand, hugged me, pressed his cheek against mine, and declared, "Happy! Happy!" Although at one point, he asked me if I liked him or my birth mother more. I told him I liked both of them very much, but he didn't want to hear that and wanted me to choose. In the end, I stuck to my guns.
He insisted on buying me a dresser for my apartment. Today. When I told him I had no time today, he told Unkyung to tell me that I should give them my keys! With Unkyung's help, I wriggled out of that and left, keys secure in my purse. On the way home, Unkyung said, "He was drunk." I thought, "No kidding."
So that's a cautionary tale about Soju before noon.
Anyway.....
I stayed up late last night watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother on DVD. It made me feel better since it was a dose of home that allowed me to forget that, at the moment, I feel pretty lost in translation. Even with my own coworkers. The other English teachers have been extremely kind, but I constantly find myself feeling shy and awkward. I end up making corny jokes that come off sounding either stupid or creepy. I just don't feel at all like myself around them. Although I have to remember that I felt the same way when I first began working at the credit union. I just need to find my comfort zone. But it has yet to happen and I've been feeling isolated and a little lonely, despite the smothering I get from my birth family.
This morning I intended to sleep in because my class doesn't begin until 4PM and I don't have as much prep work to do as today I'll have only one class learning the same lesson I taught the previous two days. But instead of sleeping in, I awoke to a phone call from Unkyung. I contemplated ignoring it for a second, but then realized that doing so would prompt an unannounced visit from the b-parents.
"My father want you come our home," she said, after apologizing for waking me.
"When?"
"Now."
I have yet to figure out how to deal with this situation. I was grumpy (not a morning person, as many of you already know) and annoyed. Apparently the restaurant was closed for the day. They close the restaurant once a week on any given day, depending on how tired either my birth mother is or birth father is. It's like a "mental health day," as my mom calls it. Even though I realized this, the expectation that I change all my plans (not that they were many) at the drop of a hat nearly enraged me. My reaction was exaggerated because I was tired, but I couldn't help but feel the whole situation dripped of selfishness. But what can I say? They insist on buying me things all the time (which, quite honestly, makes me uncomfortable) so I don't feel I can refuse.
Unkyung and Unsun were at my apartment twenty minutes later. When we arrived at my birth family's home, my birth mother came to hug me and soon my birth father joined in. It was one big trio-hug. When we sat down, my birth father sat beside me and held my hand and asked me if I was happy. I wanted to say, "Actually, I'm really tired and if I had known YESTERDAY that I'd be called upon, I would have gone to bed earlier. But since no one considered that, I am very tired." Instead, I said, "Yes, I am very happy." To which he replied, "Happy? Happy! Happy! Happy!" Birth mother began to laugh at that point, handing him a plate of spam.
During breakfast my birth father downed a full bottle of Soju. For those who don't know, Soju normally comes in a green bottle roughly the size of a 12 oz. bottle of beer. Except Soju is more like grocery store liquor. It contains about 20-something per cent alcohol. After downing the bottle, Birth Father quickly became more affectionate. He talked about when he was in a medically induced coma and how his main thought was that he'd never get to see me again. He'd make a couple comments that prompted some laughs, but only from Birth Mother. Unkyung and Unsun looked on, their facing showing embarassment and impatience. At one point, Grandmother smacked his leg and told him to "take it easy!" He ignored her and continued to talk and press his cheek against mine. He also felt it necessary to mention that I'm the best out of all his daughters. And, of course, that when we were born I was a beautiful baby but Unkyung was an ugly one. These comments made me nervous and uncomfortable. He spoke a few words in English as well, letting me know that his goal was to be able to talk to and thank my parents in English when they come and visit Korea.
From what I can tell, my birth parents seem to be very fond of each other. My birth mother showed her wedding picture with pride and always laughs at my birth father's jokes. She gazed at him with a soft, affectionate look as he alternately held my hand, hugged me, pressed his cheek against mine, and declared, "Happy! Happy!" Although at one point, he asked me if I liked him or my birth mother more. I told him I liked both of them very much, but he didn't want to hear that and wanted me to choose. In the end, I stuck to my guns.
He insisted on buying me a dresser for my apartment. Today. When I told him I had no time today, he told Unkyung to tell me that I should give them my keys! With Unkyung's help, I wriggled out of that and left, keys secure in my purse. On the way home, Unkyung said, "He was drunk." I thought, "No kidding."
So that's a cautionary tale about Soju before noon.
Monday, February 23, 2009
More Biological Family Drama
So I was walking home from my first day of teaching, smoking a cigarette (sorry family) after a stressful evening, when suddenly I hear my name being called. But it wasn't "Laura!" It was more like "Lohlah!" I stop in my tracks and turn to see none other than my birth mother! She had apparently hopped in a cab and come to my neighborhood TO WALK ME HOME FROM WORK. I don't know if she was worried or if she just wanted to do it because she never did when I was little, but it really freaked me out a bit.
After being scolded by Unkyung on her cell phone, my birth mother handed it to me. Unkyung apologized, saying she didn't know how this could happen and that she had no idea her mother would do something like that. I told her to was fine and when I hung up, my birth mother apologized. She then called my birth father who told her she must buy me beer and food. I tried to tell her that I was fine and wasn't hungry, but she was not having that. So I went back out with her to the corner store where she bought me cookies and beer.
So....now I am home (admittedly a little hungry--not for cookies, though) and writing about this. I need to get an interpreter ASAP to explain some things delicately to my birth parents. This attention is liable to push me away after a while....Right now it's sweet, but bordering on crazy.
After being scolded by Unkyung on her cell phone, my birth mother handed it to me. Unkyung apologized, saying she didn't know how this could happen and that she had no idea her mother would do something like that. I told her to was fine and when I hung up, my birth mother apologized. She then called my birth father who told her she must buy me beer and food. I tried to tell her that I was fine and wasn't hungry, but she was not having that. So I went back out with her to the corner store where she bought me cookies and beer.
So....now I am home (admittedly a little hungry--not for cookies, though) and writing about this. I need to get an interpreter ASAP to explain some things delicately to my birth parents. This attention is liable to push me away after a while....Right now it's sweet, but bordering on crazy.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My New Home For the Year
I will add pictures to this entry another time.
I arrived Saturday morning....
My apartment is an efficiency, as I fully expected. I had hoped it would be similar to Michelle's (Michelle being another girl in my training group whose apartment has an amazing bathroom), but not only is it much smaller and less modern, it does not house a SHOWER. Not a proper one anyway. There is a shower head attached to the sink faucet. I am to shower over the sink. I don't even want to talk about it. The rest of the place is as expected and I'm glad to at least have a washing machine. While there is not dryer, there is a drying rack. And I do have a bed and bedding provided and both are nice.
Unkyung picked me up, after I was shown to my apartment, to go to her restaurant. See the previous entry for some of the pictures. I love the one of the grandmother. For some reason, I feel especially affectionate with her. I like her a lot, even though I have no idea what she's saying or how sharp her mind is (she starts to cry every time I have seen her so far. I get the impression she forgets who I am at times or that show knows who I am but just then remembered I am in Korea). I don't know, maybe it's her spirit that I sense and adore.
Unkyung told me that my birth father wanted to come and see my apartment that night. But the restaurant didn't close until 11PM and I had been invited to go out to the bars with some of the other English teachers at my branch. Unkyung seemed frustrated with him for not understanding as he kept telling her to tell me that he had to come that night. He was getting frustrated with her for not telling me. This is all heresay since I didn't hear the conversation, but Unkyung also added that he wanted her to spend the night with me because he didn't want me to be alone.
My birth mother told me that my birth father can't sleep at night because he worries constantly about me and because he is so happy I'm here. She added that this surprised her, and Unkyung wholeheartedly agreed. She said that every time I am around, he is constantly smiling. According to her, he normally has a grimmer look on his face and she has never seen him smile this much. This makes me feel bad but also incredibly loved.
The first night here in the Gwangjin-Gu, Seoul area I went with some fellow teachers out to the bars. We went to a place called Hong Deh (not sure of the spelling). The first bar had live music. Hong Deh is a college area so there were plenty of young people, and a decent amount of foreigners, walking around being loud and drunk. The first band was Korean and did well, but the band that followed was horrible. They were British. There was a big John Lennon poster on the wall of the bar, which made me angry. If they really respected John Lennon, they wouldn’t have allowed that band to continue. But the Korean girls were LOVING it and dancing (really creepy, spastic dances involving jumping up and down and throwing in a couple spins--movements reminded me of the creepy horror movies they have lately where ghosts move in really quick, scary, jerky motions) up front for each and every song. Several teachers bought my beers for the evening, which was nice. But eventually the work of trying to fit in exhausted me and I was ready to leave. I took a cab with a few other teachers and arrived home at 3AM. I proceeded to chat on Skype with people from home until I fell asleep.
I arrived Saturday morning....
My apartment is an efficiency, as I fully expected. I had hoped it would be similar to Michelle's (Michelle being another girl in my training group whose apartment has an amazing bathroom), but not only is it much smaller and less modern, it does not house a SHOWER. Not a proper one anyway. There is a shower head attached to the sink faucet. I am to shower over the sink. I don't even want to talk about it. The rest of the place is as expected and I'm glad to at least have a washing machine. While there is not dryer, there is a drying rack. And I do have a bed and bedding provided and both are nice.
Unkyung picked me up, after I was shown to my apartment, to go to her restaurant. See the previous entry for some of the pictures. I love the one of the grandmother. For some reason, I feel especially affectionate with her. I like her a lot, even though I have no idea what she's saying or how sharp her mind is (she starts to cry every time I have seen her so far. I get the impression she forgets who I am at times or that show knows who I am but just then remembered I am in Korea). I don't know, maybe it's her spirit that I sense and adore.
Unkyung told me that my birth father wanted to come and see my apartment that night. But the restaurant didn't close until 11PM and I had been invited to go out to the bars with some of the other English teachers at my branch. Unkyung seemed frustrated with him for not understanding as he kept telling her to tell me that he had to come that night. He was getting frustrated with her for not telling me. This is all heresay since I didn't hear the conversation, but Unkyung also added that he wanted her to spend the night with me because he didn't want me to be alone.
My birth mother told me that my birth father can't sleep at night because he worries constantly about me and because he is so happy I'm here. She added that this surprised her, and Unkyung wholeheartedly agreed. She said that every time I am around, he is constantly smiling. According to her, he normally has a grimmer look on his face and she has never seen him smile this much. This makes me feel bad but also incredibly loved.
The first night here in the Gwangjin-Gu, Seoul area I went with some fellow teachers out to the bars. We went to a place called Hong Deh (not sure of the spelling). The first bar had live music. Hong Deh is a college area so there were plenty of young people, and a decent amount of foreigners, walking around being loud and drunk. The first band was Korean and did well, but the band that followed was horrible. They were British. There was a big John Lennon poster on the wall of the bar, which made me angry. If they really respected John Lennon, they wouldn’t have allowed that band to continue. But the Korean girls were LOVING it and dancing (really creepy, spastic dances involving jumping up and down and throwing in a couple spins--movements reminded me of the creepy horror movies they have lately where ghosts move in really quick, scary, jerky motions) up front for each and every song. Several teachers bought my beers for the evening, which was nice. But eventually the work of trying to fit in exhausted me and I was ready to leave. I took a cab with a few other teachers and arrived home at 3AM. I proceeded to chat on Skype with people from home until I fell asleep.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Pics and video section 1
Enjoy! The pictures are of karaoke night on Friday and my birth family's restaurant.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
It's My Party! (Sunday's events)
(Pictures taken in Gwangjin where our training is. One of a McDonald's, one of my study group, and one of the view from the coffee house's second floor. This is a smaller part of Seoul than where our hotel is located, where there are bright lights and Maserati and Ferrari dealerships.)
Disclaimer-- I will go back and proofread these entries, but for now I post them as quickly as my fingers type them.
Note- Pics don't match posting. The pictures are ones I have taken during the week in Seoul.
The next day Eunkyung picked me up in her Hyundai and drove me to her home where there was a party being held. Two uncles, their wives, the aunt from the airport, Grandma, and the rest of the gang were present with plenty of Korean food and some Pizza Hut in case I didn't like the Korean dishes. (Side note: They put pickles on their pizza.) Pictures were taken, money was given (to me), and I was informed that Birth Father wanted to buy me a cell phone. We all sat around and watched a DVD of ME (embarrassing) and the rest of the time the family spent comparing Eunkyung's features to mine. They found way more similarities than I believe actually exist.
Later Eunsun, having warmed up to me, wanted to show me a picture of her boyfriend. She assured me that he was very handsome. At that, Eunkyung and Birth Mother both rolled their eyes and shook their heads “no.” Eunkyung said, “Only you think so.” Birth Mother laughed in agreement. I ended the visit with a manicure from Eunsun, sitting on the wooden floor of her small, square bedroom which contained a desk, clothes, nail stuff, but no bed.
On another note…..driving in Seoul is a crazy experience. People seem to feel the lanes are more like guidelines or suggestions, and Eunkyung spent a lot of her time straddling the line. Turn signals seem to mean nothing and people seem perfectly comfortable coming within centimeters of other cars. Eunkyung drove through this mess very aggressively, her hand poised over her horn which she used several times. She even expressed the desire to give someone the finger.
Eunkyung later told me that, after the airport, my birth father went out drinking with his brother until 6AM. She said he was so happy that I am here and that he loved that I hugged him. She told me that she and Eunsun do not hug him because they spent much of their time growing up fearing him. Korean fathers are very stern, she informed me. “But I don’t hate him,” she assured me. “Now it’s better.” Since then, Eunkyung says that since my arrival, every day her father asks, “Have you talked to my baby today?”
Monday I ate dinner at my birth parents’ restaurant. It was pretty good! Refer to my previous Korean Oprah post for a description of the food (the only thing they serve). We then went to buy the cell phone, courtesy of my birth father. Eunkyung commented that he was never as generous with her or Eunsun, but there didn’t seem to be any resentment in her voice.
The last incident of note happened tonight when I missed a call from Eunkyung. She later called my mother and told her that she was worried and that my birth father was prepared to come to the hotel to see what was wrong! I have a feeling that I will need to find a way to condense these blogs further. But I’m sure things will calm down eventually, allowing me to report fewer incidents.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Upon Landing....
Saturday, my birth parents, Eunkyung, Eunsun, paternal birth grandmother (90 years old), and paternal aunt greeted me at the airport. They had a woman who spoke English so well that I could barely tell that English is her second language. Of course my birth mother held me in a tearful embrace with Eunkyung and Eunsun gently trying to pry her off after a few minutes. Then I gave my birth father a hug and, while he seemed shy, he smiled the entire time. We then went out to eat where my birth father took part of his food and put it on my plate before snagging a piece of my food. This is something I have always done with anyone I have ever dined with and others have always thought it pretty presumptuous and strange. Not the case that day apparently.
One harrowing moment came when we were leaving the airport. My birth father pushed his mother in her wheelchair (she had been run over by a truck years ago when Eunsun was a baby and Eunkyung was a young child, causing the loss of her leg). In the parking lot my birth father was having trouble pushing the luggage cart over a curb, so I went to help as did Eunkyung, abandoning poor Grandmother in her wheelchair. Next thing we knew, the wheelchair started to roll off the curb and into the street. It seemed to happen in slow motion like a dramatic movie event, but at the same time happened in the blink of an eye. The force propelled her forward, launching her out of her chair and into a face dive into the street! No cars were coming at the time and everyone snapped into action, scooping her out of the street and back into her chair. We tried to attend to her and show our concern, but by the look on her face, she was pretty pissed off. My birth father clucked apologetically, looking like a contrite young boy who knew he was about to get in trouble. He touched her arm gently and she promptly shrugged it off angrily. Fortunately there was no serious damage and no cars ran over her. Updated note (2014): I did not, at the time of this blog entry, know the tale of how she lost her leg, but it certainly puts her anger into perspective.
They tried to convince me to stay with them that night, but I, as politely as I could, declined citing jet lag as my reason. So with their help I made my way to my hotel room where I found another CDI teacher who was to be my roommate. She is also adopted (her name is Cara) and has a twin sister (also adopted). I noticed her watching our interactions with the wistful expression of someone who had never met their biological parents. Later, the envy was mine as she described her relationship with her sister, having grown up with at least one blood relative.
Eunkyung eventually coaxed my birth parents out the door and I went to sleep immediately.
More on my other birth family encounters later....
And note: I will not post pictures in which I look overly obese. Please be aware.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Picture Update
Here's the entry I wrote on the plane to Korea. Below the entry are pictures of me at the airport, of my view from the plane, my birth family and me at the airport, my hotel room, and the view from my hotel room. More pics of my birth family coming soon....
Note: After I wrote the entry I did have a moment where I cried quite a bit. It was just one burst and it was over.
I will probably post two entries tomorrow until I am caught up since I have been here a few days and have a lot to catch up on.
Blog:
I am currently watching How I Met Your Mother on a Delta airplane headed for Korea. So far I have had only one moment where I was tempted to tear up, but resisted it and moved on. Stephanie came to the airport to see me off, complete with a sign that said “Good luck” and “We will miss you!” And as if that wasn’t enough, she also pulled out a coffee mug complete with pictures of classic Stephanie-Laura-Justin moments. I officially believe her when she says she’s going to miss me.
I am really impressed and surprised that not only are the in-flight movies free, but they are shown on touch-screen monitors in each person’s headrest. Movie choices include Ghost Town (which I watched and loved even though the previews looked stupid), Body of Lies, Appaloosa, Eagle Eye (already saw that in Columbus)Hellboy II, and more! And get this: I can watch TV shows too (as you probably guessed if you read the first sentence of this blog)! It doesn’t stop there…..they also have games such as chess, Bejeweled, a trivia game, and more that I certainly plan on testing out. No, I most certainly am not finished. They have an HBO Channel featuring HBO original series and films! I plan on watching Sex and the City and then Big Love next. And last, but not least, there are music selections for passengers who are too lame to own an MP3 player! And, as I said, it’s free AND it’s a touch screen! Wow….first a Black president and now I find we have this!
So now I am typing on my laptop (and plan to do so until the battery dies….soon) and am feeling more excitement than I have in the past month. Part of it is because I spoke with my birth father again last night. Unkyung (my twin) called and put him on the phone. He didn’t say much, but it was nice to hear his voice and laugh (a smoker’s laugh, but endearing for some reason). When Unkyung got back on the phone, she informed me that my birth father has been practicing his English every morning and that that morning, he cried. She told me she has never seen him cry and that was the first time. She said he cried because he misses me. While I’m sure he doesn’t literally “miss” me (I mean, he doesn’t know me), I got the gist and was touched. I don’t like to see others cry, but it’s perfectly fine if they are crying because they think I’m great.
That’s it for now. If you read this all, you’re a trooper. And thanks again to those of you who made my last few weeks in America so great and have been so comforting and patient.
Note: After I wrote the entry I did have a moment where I cried quite a bit. It was just one burst and it was over.
I will probably post two entries tomorrow until I am caught up since I have been here a few days and have a lot to catch up on.
Blog:
I am currently watching How I Met Your Mother on a Delta airplane headed for Korea. So far I have had only one moment where I was tempted to tear up, but resisted it and moved on. Stephanie came to the airport to see me off, complete with a sign that said “Good luck” and “We will miss you!” And as if that wasn’t enough, she also pulled out a coffee mug complete with pictures of classic Stephanie-Laura-Justin moments. I officially believe her when she says she’s going to miss me.
I am really impressed and surprised that not only are the in-flight movies free, but they are shown on touch-screen monitors in each person’s headrest. Movie choices include Ghost Town (which I watched and loved even though the previews looked stupid), Body of Lies, Appaloosa, Eagle Eye (already saw that in Columbus)Hellboy II, and more! And get this: I can watch TV shows too (as you probably guessed if you read the first sentence of this blog)! It doesn’t stop there…..they also have games such as chess, Bejeweled, a trivia game, and more that I certainly plan on testing out. No, I most certainly am not finished. They have an HBO Channel featuring HBO original series and films! I plan on watching Sex and the City and then Big Love next. And last, but not least, there are music selections for passengers who are too lame to own an MP3 player! And, as I said, it’s free AND it’s a touch screen! Wow….first a Black president and now I find we have this!
So now I am typing on my laptop (and plan to do so until the battery dies….soon) and am feeling more excitement than I have in the past month. Part of it is because I spoke with my birth father again last night. Unkyung (my twin) called and put him on the phone. He didn’t say much, but it was nice to hear his voice and laugh (a smoker’s laugh, but endearing for some reason). When Unkyung got back on the phone, she informed me that my birth father has been practicing his English every morning and that that morning, he cried. She told me she has never seen him cry and that was the first time. She said he cried because he misses me. While I’m sure he doesn’t literally “miss” me (I mean, he doesn’t know me), I got the gist and was touched. I don’t like to see others cry, but it’s perfectly fine if they are crying because they think I’m great.
That’s it for now. If you read this all, you’re a trooper. And thanks again to those of you who made my last few weeks in America so great and have been so comforting and patient.
Monday, February 16, 2009
First In-Korea Entry
Yes I have pictures. No, I'm not going to put them up until tomorrow. It's been so crazy and hectic that, as home sick as I already am, I haven't had time to think about home much. Thanks to my birth family, I was able to talk to Mom on the phone since she has international calling.
Time with my birth family has been....almost indescribable. But I'll try my best to describe....tomorrow.
I wanted to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten about this blog, my promises of photos, and that I am still alive!
Also note that I have written blogs on previous days but had no way to post them. So the next few blogs will be slightly out of sequence. But I'll get it together, don't you worry!
Time with my birth family has been....almost indescribable. But I'll try my best to describe....tomorrow.
I wanted to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten about this blog, my promises of photos, and that I am still alive!
Also note that I have written blogs on previous days but had no way to post them. So the next few blogs will be slightly out of sequence. But I'll get it together, don't you worry!
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