Latest news....

Okay, I've pretty much decided to accept the teaching position in Seoul. They sent me an email officially stating their offer in Gwangjin, Seoul, South Korea. The Chung Dahm Learning Institute is in the same area as Unkyung (my twin, in case you didn't know) and my birth family's restaurant (and possibly their residence--still remains unclear as to whether they live in the same building as the restaurant). Needless to say, she's super psyched and keeps calling me. I suspect she does this partly because she's afraid I'll change my mind.

Today, they had a Canadian (her Canadian-ness was clear by her accent) in their restaurant and called me so she could tell me "don't worry." I wanted to tell her that it's not so much my worry but theirs that's the issue.

I coughed on the phone earlier this week. Eunkyung now seems to be semi-afraid that I'm dying. My birth mother got on the phone while I was talking to Eunkyung (I'm told she just likes to hear my voice) and said "Lolahh? Shit down!" and proceeded to giggle. Explanation: Ten years ago, when my birth mother and Eunkyung visited the US, my birth mother kept trying to say "sit down." Instead, "sit" came out as "shit" each time. I was 14 and thought it was hysterical. Admittedly, it struck me as funny this time too. She seemed delighted to hear me laugh and repeated it several more times to get the same response.

Anyway, the issue of housing is still up in the air. I have searched online and there are no search options for apartments that include Gwangjin. Not to mention the fact that the cheaper apartments in Seoul (that I've found so far) are $1,200 per month. And remember, this job does not include an apartment.

So it looks like I won't be able to save as much money as I'd hoped in Korea, but as time passes, it becomes less and less of a focus for me.

(Update April 2014: A Wikipedia link to information about the area of Seoul I was to live and work in during my time in Korea. Also the area where my birth family lived and worked, near Konkuk University, aka Kondae area.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gwangjin_District

Shit down and other decisions

(Update April 8, 2014: The title of this post is a reference to a joke between my birth mother, Eunkyung, and me which is explained in the post "Latest News")


So I received a letter from Homeland Security saying I didn't submit all the necessary documents to receive a copy of my naturalization papers. I neglected to submit a photo ID which, by the way, was never mentioned as a requirement. I swear! I think.....

So yet another roadblock. I truly am Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown wasn't homeless or addicted to crack or anything, but he really did't have some bouts of bad luck. Feels like I'll never be able to successfully kick that damn football.  

Also, I am trying to post the Korean Oprah video but it hasn't worked thus far. Kind of like most things right now.

I'm so incredibly frustrated with the situation.

Korean Oprah

Yesterday I watched a DVD that my twin sent me over a year ago. I was unable to view the file (the picture wouldn't show on Windows Media Player) until yesterday. Basically, it's a television show that features three couples, one of which is my birth mother and birth father. Each couple seems to own a restaurant in Korea and they all seem to cook the same thing (some kind of deep fried pork smothered in gravy).

The hostess (Mom calls her Korean Oprah) is really perky and, of course, I don't understand a word that's being said. They take a moment to tease my birth father about something (it kind of seems like they're calling him fat) and then proceed to taste their heart-attack-on-a-plate dish while the audience goes "ahhhhhhhhh" and "ohhhhhhh." Then they cut to an expose on each restaurant and the family who owns it.

When they return to the set of the show, they begin speaking with my birth mother and then start playing some ultra sad music. She starts crying as she is talking. My birth father sits next to her, his head bowed and looking at the floor. He is either as sad as she is or he's thinking, "Damnit, you promised you wouldn't bring this up." But when a tear falls from his left eye, it becomes clear it's the former. Although the thought of the latter made me laugh.

THEN my birth mother pulls from her little plaid apron a letter. It's quite a large piece of paper. And, as she begins to read over the tragic-sounding music, the words are translated into horrible English at the bottom of the screen. I won't go into the whole letter, but it basically describes how much she misses me and loves me. She mentions having called me several times on the phone but that she assumes I am angry with her for giving me up since I have not returned or answered the calls. She begs me to forgive her for giving me up for adoption and assures me that "it's okay that you hate me." Wow. The camera momentarily shows my twin in the audience and then, when the letter ends, the hostess wipes her eyes and says something that signals the end of the show. Music and credits roll and...that's all. I could feel Mom and Kevin's eyes on me as I watched. I think they were waiting for me to cry. I didn't.

For the record, I realize that I should have called her back. The phone number she had been calling was not mine anymore but was, in fact, my brother's number. And I have a laundry list of excuses such as, it's too expensive to call overseas, the language barrier makes it too frustrating to converse, life in America's been too busy, etc. But I realize now that underestimated how important hearing my voice is to her. So............bad daughter.

Hopefully my coming to Korea will somewhat make up for that. The reality is that I just don't feel the connection to my birth family that they seem to feel. I wish I could force it, but I already have a family here. Still, going to Korea may allow me to form a better bond and perhaps see these people as more of a family than I do now. I have no anger toward my birth parents but I can't help but feel sometimes that I don't need them.

I have a family here who loves me and I believe that they are the family I was meant to have.

Where in the world is Yongin, Suji?

After mixed reports, my twin sister, Eunkyung, tells me that the campus in Yongin, Suji is about an hour away from Seoul. I think she means it's an hour away from where she is in Seoul, but that's good enough for me. SO.....

I received an email from Chung Dahm Learning, which is in Seoul. They want to set up a phone interview. The biggest pro is that I'd be in Seoul. The biggest con would be that I'd have to pay for my own airline ticket and they will reimburse me only up to around $1,000. And the average ticket is at least $1,300. The other place will pay for the entire ticket.

Also...I STILL haven't received any word on the status of my naturalization paper, which I need in order to get my passport. This is annoying because it puts me in a constant state of limbo. I just want to know for sure. I want to KNOW something FOR SURE. Because right now there is pretty much nothing certain in my life. Not personally, socially, professionally, physically.....nada. It will feel good to have something stable.

Misleading

So....I was offered a job to teach English in Korea in a place called Yongin, Suji which I was told by the company is a 40 minute public transportation ride to Seoul. Then spoke with a girl on Facebook in an ESL teaching program who informed me that instead of 40 mins, it's technically like 2 hours. I wasn't thrilled about 40 minutes, much less 120 minutes.

So because I feel duped, I am going to do more research and, if indeed it is two hours away, I will try to hold out for the option that's actually in Seoul.

Can't tell for sure, but I believe that green star is Yongin, Suji and just to the north of it is South Korea's capital city, Seoul. Everything looks so small and close together, but in reality it could take over an hour to get from one side of Seoul to the other (depending on mode of transportation).